4 Essential Zombie Killing Technique that Kick Ass

While there are many techniques that can score you a certified kill or KO, there are only a couple that prove to be extremely effective. I’ve been using these techniques for years and you can bet your ass their work.

There is a subtle art to killing undead creatures and over the years I’ve perfected it into a stylized dance of zombie death. While you might criticize my technique, let it be known to all critics – my shit works.

Let’s get into it.

1) Shotgun to the face then blast to the body.

Simply use the butt of your shotgun or rifle and smash the zombie in the face. The resulting shock will only last 1-4 seconds but will give you just enough time to take a step back and blast that mofo in the stomach.  Zombie – zero. You – one.

2) Vertical Katana Sword Chop.

The centuries old Japanese tradition of killing their own men for any perceived act of disrespect or dishonor is fantastic one to add to your arsenal. To accomplish this simple slide across the head. This needs to be accomplished in a swift motion to avoid getting the Katana stuck  in the bone.  Don’t aim of the should ass the muscle tissue and collarbone will get the blade stuck.

3) Police Shield to Spear.

Ever seen 300?

This is an old Greek Spartan trick that I’ve adapted to great affect.  Basically you take your police shield which is wide and tall and bash your assailant with it. The force will push him forward a few steps, giving you enough time to move your shield across and penetrate with the spear. Remember to aim for the stomach or liver as the blade can pass through the entire body unimpeded.  Thanks ancient Spartans .

4) Molotov Cocktail

While fire might kill them right away the effectiveness of a molotov cocktail lies in it’s ability to do damage to multiple enemies as once.  The fire will spread and soon all you will smell is the sweet tangy aroma of burning zombie meat (great BBQ idea). If you give them about 3-4 minutes the fire will eventually reach their muscle tissue where they will fall down.  Great plan for zombie killing right?

Alright, you sick bastards there you have it.  4 awesome ways to kill any undead creature you see.  Test them out and let me know. Drop a comment below and let me know which one is your favorite.

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